Because writing is a form of therapy. And honesty is the best policy 🥰

That nightmare started as soon as my ex-roommate Naima Pohler moved in back in 2025. She lived on the 2nd floor of the duplex and I on the 1st floor. Every week to every month was a new problem with her. Her shower doesn’t work, the door near her room doesn’t work, her AC doesn’t work, there is “mold”, her kitchen garbage (which I never used) had maggots in it weekly, she can’t sleep because of normal noise (such as a door being shut) in the building, the list goes on.

Out of all the issues, the noise was the most absurd spectacle we had to comply with. No one was allowed to lock the main door to the apartment because she could hear the lock click from her 2nd floor bedroom and it would wake her up so literally anyone could walk in at any time. No one was allowed to close any door (bedroom/bathroom) normally because the sound of a door closing normally woke her up. No one was allowed to use the dishwasher before she woke up because the sound of the dishwasher closing would wake her up. She had fliers taped to every door in the building about closing their doors quietly too. Living with her was almost like a Saturday Night Live skit. The list goes on.

And every week to a month she would project her new issue (that was only hers) onto others and make everyone else’s issue. For any repairs in her room, someone else had to be there to manage it. For any complaint, everyone had to additionally email the landlord about to boost her tribal mentality of all vs one. And for something as simple as having to return an additional router sent in her name, she had the audacity to give me attitude about for not offering to return it for her. The package drop off was on the same block as the train she took everyday but nevertheless, she claimed she didn’t have the bandwidth to take care of it. The list goes on.

Our management and landlords were very kind people. A Hispanic American in management and a Jewish family as landlords. Both she would speak down to as though she was better than, be condescending with, and frequently try to get money out of with every interaction. We had a few arguments about the way she speaks to them as I did not want to be associated with handling business in the same manner. And trying to claim reimbursement/money every month and bully the Jewish family maintaining our building was absolutely embarrassing. I wanted nothing to do with it, so we managed our business with the apartment separately.

She was convinced the Jewish family were trying to scam her, never let that mentality leave her mind, and mentioned it every time I told her they were good people. The fact that I was friendly with them, and they would accommodate me for an issue easily vs her who give them an attitude definitely changed the air and erupted jealousy from her. But her issues were not mine, and I kept her at a distance which I also believe changed the air. I dealt with a narcissist earlier that year, and was already familiar with the game, so I didn’t have space for her in my life beyond simply being a roommate. She could tell her friends to jump, and they would respond with “how high?”. But if she told me to jump, I would simply say “no”. She recognized this early on. I kept quiet for the majority of living with her since I wanted to keep the peace. So I let her say and think what she wanted for a long time. I didn’t care what her perception of me was.

Months later she decides to move out—Thank God. But of course, there is another issue pertaining to her. It’s regaeding the security deposit and everyone else being given a last minute notice. It leads to a disagreement and I stop talking to her and block her. She simply was too much to deal with, especially during that summer I was told she apparently was not on her medication. The month she moves out I also messaged someone who I had no idea was best friends with her to vent about her too (key note). And the month she moves out is the month I decide to stop walking on eggshells, living uncomfortably because of an absurd hearing trauma, and start closing doors normally. Anyway, she moves out and the energy in the apartment felt so much better. I was actually glad I never had to speak with this girl again.

But later that same week I start getting bullied. This is a woman in her 30s, friends in their 30s, but it feels like high school. I’m being told I’m going to get killed, my family is going to get killed, I’m ugly, I have no friends, making fun of my body, making fun of the disgusting abuse from my childhood (which only her friend I vented to and narcissists from earlier in the year knew about), asking why I was mean to Naima, bringing up the narcissist I dealt with earlier this year, I mean nonstop harassment. They even pretended to be a woman (and this woman’s family) that I had no real association with except for leaving my keys by. The only person who knew about this was Naima as I asked if she could get them from her for me as they would be at the same party. I can’t think of another reason why someone would pretend to be this woman while bullying me haha. Anyway, for the first time, I understood why kids sometimes commit suicide from bullying. It was nonstop, intense, and dehumanizing. But of course I wouldn’t they couldn’t get me to that point.

I decide I don’t want to stay at this apartment anymore. I explain everything to the landlord, what’s been going on, my stance, the bullying, and they offer me an okay to leave by a certain date without getting the guarantors involved. And why would I even care to stay or leave on terms that would best help Naima anyway (since the guarantors were her best friends) with all the nasty bullying. The landlords were of course kind and accommodating as always, and definitely helped me out.

The landlords had nothing good to say about Naima Pohler and said she was a problem. Management had nothing good to say about Naima Pohler and said she was a problem. And I ran into our broker as well who asked how things were going, to which he had nothing good to say about Naima Pohler from his interactions with her either and also said she was a problem. The only people who say Naima Pohler is not a problem are her friends. But I honestly devalue anyone’s opinion that encourage narcissism, and potential anti-semitism with the way she treated and always tried to steal money from the Jewish family that managed us. I deem any of friends who encouraged her behavior during that time antisemitic as well. There is already a stigma of the Jewish community and money. To further promote that and in turn try to steal from them is wrong. But I learned this is a common attribute of narcissists—The people they like will think they’re the best person all around, but it’s the people behind closed doors and the people the narcissist can’t benefit from that get to see who they truly are.

One of my favorite quotes is “a man’s true character is revealed by how he treats those who can offer him no personal gain”.

I cut off all ties with her, her friends, their community as I realized these are not people I want in my life. I’ve also been a witness to actions deriving from this group of that I’ve been told no one would want spoken about. I still receive emails to this day saying “thanks for signing up for…” which means her and her friends are still mad, but I laugh because they still think of me. Last I heard they were still experiencing issues with the apartment with another tenant trying to work out a financial deal. A friend of hers recently told me I humiliated myself, but honey.. Humiliation can only take place in front of those doing better than you. Not those who aren’t. It can maybe take place in front of people who inspire you, and who have what you one day hope to achieve. Not people who you know you would never trade lives with, or are struggling themselves. I couldn’t find this in that community. Also from all the bullying they sent me, I don’t have feelings like humiliation or shame anymore. And this experience has birth a stage in my life called transparency. Where nothing is hidden and I am more than happy for everyone to know what’s what. And from always choosing to be overly nice, letting people walk all over me, to standing up for myself.

So, take aways—Stay away from narcissists and the friends of narcissists. No good can come from either. Stay away from people who demean and speak down to others. No good can come from someone bullying Jewish families, Hispanic Americans, or justify what was said to me. Stay away from apartment listings that seem too good to be true (Naima was looking for roommates for over a month! Which was crazy because the price was a steal. Now I know why.) And know if anyone needs to gang a team to bully you, instead of facing you 1v1, know you hold immense power.

And last—Never be afraid to speak your truth. No matter who believes. No matter who cares. Because if prominent political figures, influencers, and even your favorite celebrities have pages with hundreds of thousands to millions of followers dedicated to cancelling them and hating on them, numerous lawsuits for the wildest claims (example: Beyonces dancer suing her for doing witchcraft on her and killing her dog) and yet they still thrive and don’t care—Why should you care about the meaningless existences who never had anything substantial to offer you in this life?

Everyone gets hate. The only difference is that it’s politicians, influencers, and celebrities vs the average person. Everyone likes drama. The only difference is people prefer to watch it on tv and in movies vs hear it’s being experienced in real life. And in the grand scheme of all things, no one—truly no one cares about what anyone else thinks. Life moves on. And if you’re around people who do, you’re around limited minds.

Another favorite quote of mine “it’s a real weakness to want to be liked, and I do not have that.”

Well this writing worked wonders. I feel amazing. Im thankful to everyone who has supported me. And I’m grateful for my attorney. Life is too short to care about what bullies say about you. But life is also too short to not to give a show of the truth, just because I’m not a celebrity. Therapy complete LOL